If you guys didn't already know, then this blog is a project for my university degree. But it cannot be a blog, it has to be a website.
For the next couple of weeks, instead of focusing on content, I will be focusing on creating the website and its features. I will update you with the BFI review next week and maybe a couple of new releases but unfortunately, I will be away from writing whilst I do some designing.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience on the 15 people who read this :P
Take care guys and I'll see you with a properly working website.
Its yet again another week of repeats this week as both Real Steel and Johnny English manage to stick to their top spots respectively. In America, Real Steel clings on with the "you're boyfriend will love this for the fighting and father son relationship" movie making $16.3 million whilst shocking remakes Footloose and The Thing come limping in disappointingly (or rightfully so) at 2nd and 3rd place.
Over where we live Mr Bean's A Spy otherwise known as Johnny English saves itself from tumbling down the box office charts and fighting off The Three Muskateers to secure top spot taking £3.1 million. TTM, with their near perfect hair for the 18th century, came in third whilst The Lion King, (boo yah) still sits in second.
All this just makes me worry about the state of people going to the cinema. I mean really, these two films have a second week on the top of the box office and the brilliant Drive only came in 7th?
Anyone else feeling the stuffy cold of winter? Blocked noses, sore throats and headaches? It is truly a bitter season. So what better excuse to fill the warm seat of cinema and stuff ourselves with warm popcorn and nachos? We are but animals who need to stuff for winter after all. And in the fest, what movies could be background noise? And if you look at the movies this week, that is probably the best explanation for them.
Real Steel
Based on a children's toy called Rock Em, Sock Em, Real Steel is set in the near future where robot boxing has become the top sport. Struggling promoter Charlie finds a discarded robot and attempt to train him to become a champion. During the rise to the top Charlie discovers he has a son Max who is desperate to know about his father. As the new robot Atom battles, can they win the matches and the hearts of the public?
Staring Hugh Jackman, Real Steel, and I tell no lie, is basically Rocky but with Robots. The men in your life will probably love it.
Dolphin Tale
Based on a true story and full of so much sugary sickness that even the poster is vomit inducing.
I mean seriously. Anyway, Dolphin Tale is about the relationship between a boy and a dolphin. A lonely and friendless boy discovers a dolphin trapped inside a crab trap and releases him but was unable to save its tail. The boy becoming, obviously, attached to the dolphin believes it can swim with a prosthetic tale. Guess the ending, wipe the tears.
It's the skinny Free Willy and it's true. The kids are going to love it but I'd bring some tissues. You know to clean up the vomit of too much love and happiness.
Sleeping Beauty
Sleeping Beauty is an Australian erotic drama. That's all you need to know.
Oh you want to know more? It's an erotic drama, that's acceptable porn! Ok, ok. There isn't much to go on. Lucy (which by the way is played by the girl from Ghost Ship. It makes the film that little bit more uncomfortable) is a shy student who starts University and finds herself deep in the world of passion, love, beauty and desire.
The other two films out this week are The Three Musketeers and Footloose. Both of them are remakes and I don't particularly want to describe them because you should know them. From the originals.
Well well well, I felt ridiculously guilty about my previous post that despite downing my fifteenth lemsip and surround by a pile of tissues, I thought that I might as well write about the movie news that have hit my ears over the past 7 - 8 days. And I have a funny feeling one of these tid-bits for you may be the reason why I am ill. Have a guess which one it is.
Good News:
It's BFI time! and the film 360 kicks starts an exciting month of brand new cinema. I've been smart and booked tickets for some of them so I can give you only the best of reviews in the only way I see fit (dry and sarcastic, of course)As well as movies, the BFI is a host to interviews and of course a bunch of wonderful awards. Of the stars who arrived on the red carpet were stars of the movie Anthony Hopkins and Jude Law as well Tom Hiddleston and Terry Gilliam. The BFI London Film Festival carries on til the 26th of October and you can catch 360 in cinemas next year as it tells the story of relationships and loves throughout the course of different countries.
I re-watched The Dark Knight the other day and there is some stellar acting in it. No, that's not the news (if I had it my way though, it would be. every day,) but its a segue as I am lamenting one of this generations more underrated actors; Aaron Eckhart. But luckily, he has signed on to play the creature in Steven Beatties I, Frankenstein. A long with five other movies in production on the Mary Shelley story, this one is set to be different from the rest as it focuses on the creature and his part in a battle between two immortal gangs. It is an unique spin that will hopefully set it apart. It does mean, though, we get to once again see Eckharts luscious locks go under makeup again which is a shame because he is one rinse away from being the poster boy for L'Oreal.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE WOOOORTTTH IT!"
Finally in the good news the 80's teen hero John Cussack has all grown up and is playing Amercia's favourite demented writer (I say America because we have loads more crazy assed writers) Edgar Allen Poe in The Raven and the trailer has just hit online. And trust me, it looks goooooood. The Raven revolves around a series of murders based on the horror stories Poe had created (The Pit And The Pendulum, The Tale Tell Heart etc.) The writer is called in firstly under suspicion but soon becomes help to the detective Emmett Fields (the most American classic name ever, seriously Emmett?) It looks like its full of twists and possible historical inaccuracies (like oodles of them from what I gather of the trailer) but nonetheless it looks ace. Check out the trailer)
Bad News
Don't get me wrong, I love Rob Zombies work but that's because somewhere inside me there is a sick and twisted 14 year old goth that I used to be. So I secretly love House of 1000 Corpses despite its disturbing horror porn connotations. However, since bastardizing the Halloween classics with *shudder* remakes, Zombie is a name spoken with venom in my house. There's a lot of money going into the Zombie jar this week as he casts for his new movie Lord Of Salem. The premise involves ressurected Salem witches and haunted records that don't sound like an really bad 80's horror movie at all. On the career death list are Billy Drago, Meg Foster and Ernest Thomas so Zombie is hitting it with all the A-Listers. Oops looks like I out did my sarcasm quota for today.
The Human Centipede 2 now or as I like to call it "The most unnecessary film that is there merely to offend because Tom Sixx is a sick individual and I can't believe there is a part 2. Part 2." And The BBFC have given in to its demands giving it an 18 certificate. Of course, a lot of editing had to be done (which means the film will probably be title, screaming and then credits and thus better than anything originally planned) After cutting around 2 minutes and 32 seconds the film will be released over in the UK. And will no doubt be passed around illegally through 13 year old boys. I am honestly damn disappointed about this. To cheer me and you up;
THE KITTEN CUTEAPEID!
And finally, perhaps the most shocking news to feature on the bad news; The Avengers. I've been harping about this movie for a while and finally a trailer hits. And it's shockingly disappointing. I get that the premise is an amalgamation of all our favourite heroes (forgetting that they have forgotten about the X-Men in this) but The Avengers trailers seems too much like the same as any other trailer they have released for Superhero movies. I'm not going to lie, I may have wet my pants out of excitement of seeing it the first time but the second time I see all its faults. An evil super villain voice over? Check. Explosions? Check. Not introducing important characters? Check. Relying on the comedic relief of everyones favourite? Check. Samuel L Jackson being badass? Check. It seems too much like Iron Man 3 at the moment rather than The Avengers. The film is going to be great, I know, but there isn't much hope after seeing this. Maybe closer to the time they can do better than this piece of trailer crap they have done. Check it out.
Epic apologises to you all, the handful of people who read this blog. I am currently ridiculously ill and am struggling to get all my work that I have backed up done. I know I have been lax on this blog for a couple of weeks and I am sorry about that. Having just entered my third year of university and finding a bit more complication in my life, I am trying to find a balance to do this blog, work and pass my degree. Don't worry. I am not quitting, I am gathering resources and soon I'll be back to writing articles, reviews and more.
On that note though, Film News Round Up may be postponed til tomorrow or next week. This is because of me being ill. Unless I kick myself up the jacksy and you'll get it later tonight.
They really do clutch at straws, movie makers don't they? Since Transformers fell of its track (after five minutes of the first movie I might add) we have been looking for something to replace it. Enter the Transformers younger cousin Real Steel, a movie based on, I kid you not, the Rock Em Sock Em battle bots. And it is taking America by storm fighting its way to top of the box office. It earned a whopping £27.3million edging the ever adorable Dolphin Tale into third with George Clooney's political drama (thrilling) The Ides of March coming in second.
Over in the UK, we aren't that better as English comedy Johnny English Reborn is our number one film. Eight years after the first film release, we get to see the hapless secret agent bumble its way to the top accumulating £4.97 million. That's nearly double The Lion King re-release that came in second with £2.7 million.
It's disappointing England. We can do so much better. What comes out this week?
Brrrrrrrrr. It is rather chilly. Our Indian Summer has gone and now we are stuck with wooly hats, scarfs and gloves trying to snuggle to stay warm. Well, it's not all bad. It means that it is socially acceptable to go see a movie without being stared at for not enjoying the sunshine. Joys, we can be movie geeks in peace. And sure enough there are just enough films to keep you out of the bitter cold.
The Lion King
I know what you are thinking and yes you would be right in noting that The Lion King came out years ago. 1994 to be exact. How old do you feel now? But with the release of the DVD coming soon, Disney decided to get it's chops into release their classics in 3D. The Lion King is just the start. Now if I have to tell you the plot about The Lion King, I'm going to assume you are really young and in that case you probably wont be reading this anyway. Huh. Either that or you have a deprived childhood.The Lion King is Hamlet for those without attention span as Simba, the lion, has to overcome his treacherous uncle to assume the throne that is rightfully his.
With hilarious sidekick friends and the best bunch of songs to keep you singing away, The Lion King has already top US charts and it looks to do the same over here. Go on, be a child again.
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark is a fairytale gone wrong. Sally, a young girl, has just been carted off to live with her dad and stepmom in an old mansion they are renovating. Clearly this girl hasn't seen horror movies as that already spells disaster and sure enough Sally finds herself the victim of creatures set upon taking her for her own. Of course, her parents don't believe the spooky goings on and it is up to Sally to defend herself before it is too late and she is lost forever.
With great graphics and terrifying monsters, Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark is one to keep you up at night. You can read the review here
Johnny English Reborn.
Rowan Atkinson is a legend who gave us the brilliant annoying Mr Bean, the wonderful Black Adder and voiced Zazu in The Lion King. His sketches were always fantastic and recently he has delighted as Fagin in the West End Production of Olivier. So, it is with that, that I can only assume he has squandered all his earned or been out of the acting game for an amount of time because this is this years most unnecessary movie. Johnny English is a bumbling secret agent who accidentally in the previous film uncovered a murderous plot against the queen and England. This time he goes international against assassins to find the Chinese premier.
A film for the family and it will keep the children entertained because lets face it, they are one step away from being idiots anyway.
But if you choose to take them to this over The Lion King than you are an idiot too.
