Film News Round Up: 19 - 28th September

Oh dear, I've dropped the ball. This week installment is two days late so by the time I tell you some of the news you are going to roll your eyes at me and go "Yes Cookie, I know, keep up." I am but one woman. After all, I'm pretty sure you don't come to this post for ground breaking news and just for the witty banter. I'm like Dave. Anyway, there are certain news to give you that I believe is the best news and the worst around.

Good News.

I'll admit it right off the bat. I have a numerous amount of weird crushes on actors who I shouldn't have weird crushes on. Like Neil Flynn, his psychotic janitor on Scrubs just gets me all gooey. I don't know why. It's an illness. On that list of crushes is the creepy but brilliant actor Jackie Earle Haley from the latest A Nightmare On Elm Street infamy. So this is good news because he is in a new film and its a Spielberg movie! He will play Andrew Stephens; the vice president of the Confederate States and a bit of a git to American hero Lincoln during the abolishing of slavery. Damn, he really does get a raw deal does our Haley, doesn't he?

Talking about new Haley movies, he is in the Tim Burton take on television series Dark Shadows (you know the worldwide famous show...........yeah I haven't heard of it either.) Sure to be a creep fest the film is about a vampire who is dug up and attempts to reintegrate with his living descendants. It's a Tim Burton film so it stars Johnny Depp as the main character Barnabas Collins (Dammit, Barnabas was going to be the name of my first born child,) and Helen Boham Carter. But the film also stars Michelle Milf-ieffer, sorry, Pfieffer and the new pictures came online.

Yeah, I think that old guy at the back is Jackie Earle Haley. Yummers.

Oh my god. It's Noel Fielding. 

Well no, it's Johnny Depp but seriously separated at birth! 

Remember the brilliant Roald Dahl BFG book when you were a child? And the cartoon with David Jason as the voice and the incredibley terrifying mean Giants who eat children? Well, it's being tackled again and the kid within me just jumped for joy! It's going to be live action and it is written by ET writer Melissa Mathison so its sure going to be a family favourite. I am more than excited about this despite no actors or directors being assigned to it yet. Who doesn't want to see The Big Friendly Giant again? No, I thought so, you squealed too. The only problem is wheres my The Twits movie? That would be epic and great as a Tim Burton film. Get on it dude with Depp and Burton! 

So I have a secret, I secretly like Avatar. Its a bit like Glee, the storyline is rubbish but it is so pretty. So with the Pocahontas break big box office moolah, Disney have decide to cash in on this and plans are underway for an Avatar ride at the Animal Kingdom. Bob Iger (honestly, that name in my circles is Godlike.) Construction will go underway 2013 and will be based on sections of Pandora. I am very excited to see if they build a glow in the dark section. So so pretty. 

Bad News. 

The Human Centipede 2 is back waving its controversy around like that kooky weird girl who sleeps around with no shame. I have to say that I believe its the worst film ever made. Not because its classically bad or the acting is rubbish but because it is made to sicken and "entertain." I hate that with so much stories to tell a perverse tale made to shock people gets a sequel. Anyway, the new poster is just as bad with it screaming "Banned in the UK," which isn't technically true. It has been refused a certification but it isn't exactly banned but as that article mentions, the original was a disgusting horror movie but this one goes beyond that. It wont be shown over here though though. I've said before though, I wont show you anything to do with this film. 

Kittens!!!

Talking about kittens, new photos of Anne Hathaway's Catwoman hit the internet the other day and a lot are fairly disappointed. Probably because of the immense greatness of the original Catwoman's costumes whether it is the Julie Newmar or Pfieffer they have been sexy or cheesy. These new photos though show Hathaway's costume being very bland or non. We are all no doubt excited about The Dark Knight Rises but this may be the one thing that ruins the whole thing. Don't do it Nolan! At least give her some better ears. Or a tail!

We move on to the Wanted that film that was based on the graphic novel. When we say based, they striped away all the amazing parallel universe and super villain stuff and made it a basic action movie. So rubbish basically (and they had so much to work with.) Anyway, Wanted 2 is moving forward apparently with the writers back on board and excited about working on it. If you don't remember the first movie, it starred Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman. That's all you need to know.

Finally the people at Universal are plotting something evil and in my head, it looks something like this;

This time its worse. You know that film that all the guys and the butch ladies go on about. No no, not The Godfather but Scarface. Yes, bosses over at Hollywood believe that the Italian drug lord baron that made Al Pacion news a fresher audience. There aren't calling it a re-make despite the fact that the original, was you know, a remake and it is interesting to see what take they put on it for the newer audience. Oh did I say interesting? I meant completely horrifying! So to combat this I can only do what I see fit. Hey, say hello to my little friends.

Awwwwwww

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Box Office News

Boo, I am sorry that Films News Round Up is late this week due to prior commitments but you'll get it tomorrow. I'll even add some extra shiznit for you beautiful eyes. Honestly though, it hasn't been majorly up or down this week.  The biggest news is what I am about to give you. Right. Now.

Well, you've heard it before but still I think it is ace that The Lion King re release has trumped the USA box office yet again. It fought off films such as baseball film Moneyball and amputee film Dolphin's Tale. Like a proud lioness stalks its prey (seriously? that was the best lion analogy I could come up with? Man, I'm tired.) The Lion King another $22 million to secure top spot. The re-release is supposedly only for two weeks but with it raking in an impressive $390 million, expect Disney to keep a hold of this one.

Over the pond, homemade British film with a hint of Swedish (like your mum dancing to Abba at your cousins wedding. You know the wedding....,) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy took £2.1 million and was still top of the class (a-team) beating Crazy Stupid Love to second place. Warrior came in at third and Drive came in a less than impressive fifth. Boo on that. Mind you, you do get to see a semi naked Gosling and Emma Stone. I can't really blame you for that. Stone trumps all.

Yes, you heard me.

All.

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Films To Go See This Week.

Ah well its that time of the week again where I tell you what you probably already know if you have seen a billboard or a bus go by (which, technically, doesn't count because I saw an Iron Man 2 advertisement today and that was a while back.) Anyway, there are several films that have already gotten 4 to 5 out of stars from critics (like I said before, my film review of what I hope to be Drive wont be out until Monday due to clashes with, you know, life.) Go watch them, they may be the best film of the year in your eyes (and too many people are harping on about how great Friends With Benefits is)

Drive

Hmmm there are two Ryan Gosling movies out this week. So if you haven't had your Gosling fix and your TheNotebook DVD is skipping ("everrrryyyydayyyy for a a a a yeaaaar") than take a gander at this beauty. Ryan Gosling plays Driver, a no named Hollywood stunt driver who moonlights with the mob on weekends (as you do.) Unfortunately, a heist goes wrong and soon the Driver gets embroiled in a whole lot of mess since an attempt is left on his head . Its a vicious fight for survival as Driver is hunted for, well, for blood.

Driver has already received rave reviews as well as a standing ovation from the Cannes Film Festival. You'll get my review of it Monday but until then, watch it and let me know what you think.

Crazy. Stupid. Love.

The second Gosling outing this week (and more of his body, yummers,) along with Julianne Moore and Steve Carrell. The latter play married couple Cal and Emily who hit a rough patch when one of them cheats on the other (thats Emily who did the dirty.) Instead of moping about, Cal seeks advice from ultimate singleton Jacob (Gosling) and soon Cal is back into dating. Despite all this, Cal is desperate for his marriage and relationship with his children to be back on track. And Jacob has his own worries.

Its a heart warming comedy about family values with hilarious moments.

Oh I'm sorry did I forget to mention it stars friggen Emma Stone. Thats better than the Gosling thing...

Warrior

For the chav in you but definitely has some highlights *cough* Tom Hardy *cough.* But beneath it there is a genuine touching story line that I'm sure that your guy mates are salivating to watch. It centres around the MMA championships (Mixed Martial Arts) and both Brendan, a down and out teacher, and Tommy, an ex-marine, want the be winners. Problem is, they are both brothers. With the same loathing for their alcoholic dad and the drive to win, it all rests on a showdown. Who will come out top?

Its testosterone filled but it has a pulse beating beneath all those muscles (oooo, muscles) Definitely a dark horse of great cinema. 

Also out this week is Killer Elite, but if you go and watch that over any of the films above, I may have to not speak to you for a while.

I'm just saying.

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Glee: Season 3 Premiere Review

I have to note that this blog is more about the film but occasionally, will mention television Hence, why I didn't blog the Emmy's but will blog about up and coming film awards. As I haven't the time to review a new film til Monday and therefore missing out on giving you a fresh review before you have all seen it, I got to watch the latest offering from "Glee" and yes, I loved every second of it.

Glee have had a disappointing summer. Their concert 3D movie which was supposed to be brilliant flopped majorly at the box office despite being a sell-out. And at the Emmy's (oh look, bring it back) they won two awards for Best Guest Star Gwyneth Paltrow (yes, with Kristen Chenoweth, they chose Paltrow) and Best Casting. But that's all fine, you say, as long as they have fans, right? Wrong my little munchkins, due to the extremely unsatisfying second series which saw too many guest stars, far too many loose tangents and a highly anti climatic series finale. Glee has kind of fell of it's pedestal from the first series and just like the plucky loser in the show, is willing to climb its way back up.

I'm taking series three and it is hitting are screens tomorrow at new home Sky 1. Series three picks off at the new school year, just after the major loss of Nationals. It's senior year for some such as Kurt and Rachel and its time to start thinking about their big dreams. But New Directions come back with just as many fans as they left with and even less band members. Sam has moved away, Lauren doesn't want to hurt her reputation and Quinn has come back all punked up and burnt out with a new gang called "The Skanks." It seems that its up to Will Schuester to bring them back with The Purple Piano Project; every time a student sees one they have to start playing no matter where it is. Yet with Sue back on the Glee Clubs trailer with her new political campaign and the only audition was an assault on people with ears, a National win seems less and less likely.

The new series feels like its back to the old style Glee originally captured us with. It's seemingly more dark but full of humor at the same time. It has striped away the cheesy gun hoe cliches it filled itself with in the previous series and thrown in as much depression as they can. Whilst this shouldn't work, it does bring it back to the fact Glee is an adult comedy and in this series it works better than ever. The acting is top form this year too from the disillusioned Rachel and Kurt to the sly quips from Sylvester; it feels that ever cast member wants this season to hit off with a bang. And remember The Glee Project? The first of the final four appears as Lindsey (you know, the one you fully wanted to strangle throughout the show?) has her two episodes of fame as a competitive musical theatre student. And the music is great too because there isn't any damn popular music that these kids are singing these days. It's all musical theatre and classic songs that make the group sound more like an actual Glee Club than they have ever done.

Of course, it isn't without its fault and Glee has taken a nose dive in US ratings. Trying to pick itself up from the shambolic Series Two is hard without reminding us about how badly it all went. There's the repetitive Emma and Will storyline as too if and when he will get laid as well as Finn and Rachel trying to be the brand new power up, again. And lets not forget that they harp on about being losers and that no one likes Glee Club more than ever this time. Glee is strained and needs a big boost from this to come back fighting strong.

It seems Glee has lost its star and isn't the budding new thing on the scene anymore. But it is still fighting and although it has lost fans, it is gaining well acclaimed criticism. It's not perfection or brilliance but it is fun and enjoyable to say the least. Certainly it will give people what they come to expect from Glee and the show feels like it's digging up its roots again. If the season premiere is anything to go by, it's going to be a great series and hopefully will live up to the expectations it promised us in the first season.

4/5

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Glee: Series 3 starts in the UK tonight 9pm SKY 1

I Think You Should See: Dead Man's Shoes

I was having this conversation the other day with a friend of mine; Paddy Considine is a living  breathing British legend. If you don't recognise that name, then shame on you because he is by far one of the best actors of our generation. He has been in Hot Fuzz, The Bourne Ultimatum, 24 Hour Party People and In America. So if you combine Paddy Considine with the brilliance that is Shane Meadows, who around the success of Once Upon A Time In The Midlands and This Is England knocked out this beauty of a film, (I just realised how British I'm sounding here,) and you have a damn near masterpiece of a revenge thriller film.

Set in the sleepy town of Matlock (that's up North for you Southerners,) Dead Man's Shoes focus on Richard - a recently returned Army Mercenary. But all is not well with his arrival, as he soon discovers that his mentally ill brother Anthony has been abused, manipulated and tortured by a drug heavy gang whilst he was away.  Richard, already dissaffected  from the war is not one for being forgiveful ("God will forgive them and let them into heaven. I can't let that happen," and soon exacts his revenge on every single member who hurt his younger brother. Using guerrilla tactics, scare factors and picking off the gang members one by one, Richard sees himself as an Angel of Vengeance and protector to his little brother who also teaches Richard that there are perhaps skeletons in his closet too.

As mentioned before, the acting in Dead Man's Shoes is breath-taking. Considine is pure genius as the tortured and torturer Richard as he battles demons from the real gang members to the ones inside his head. He brings effortlessly a sense of humanity but anger to the character and does it all so realistically that is inspiring to watch. Not only does Considine do a fantastic job but Toby Kebbell does a sensitive portrayal of the mental handicapped Anthony. The two work brilliantly as the near child Anthony and the anguished Richard as they bounce off each other in their relationship throughout the journey of anguish. The other actors such as Sonny and Herbie (gang members) do well as the antagonists too.

And the directing is great, choosing to flip between the past with snippets of Anthony's abuse to the present but it is done in a unique way. For example, you don't get the whole of the abuse but as each gang member remembers exactly what they have done you get their own guilt and regret. It plays out well and is much a testament to Shane Meadows directing skills as well. Meadows also writes a wonderful story. Although the vengence film has been done before, Meadows adds to it and creates so many twists and turns that culminates to the sad and shocking finale of the film. The lines and the story brings about so many emotions without chucking them at you in forced stereotypes but instead delicately making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

Of course, Dead Man's Shoes isn't everyone's cup of tea (if you've seen it, you'll get that.) It is heavily violent and some scenes are really disturbing that at times you cant stomach and although it is needed, it is still upsetting to see. And there are significant moments in the film that seem to be brushed over especially a truly important moment within the film. The same can be said for certain characters, although acted terrifically by Gary Stretch, Sonny is barely the monster they make him out to be and isn't menacing (although completely sick at times.) There is a lot dangling in the air in Dead Man Shoe's that could be plucked, explored and made deeper.

Despite its violence, Dead Man's Shoes is heartbreaking. It is a tale about brotherly love and the lengths we will go to if a family member is hurt in the way Anthony was. Richard is the part of us we don't like to admit is there but we know exists. He stands for the love and anguish we feel when one of our own is threatened. Dead Man's Shoes is our darkest fantasies in times of troubles but end so sorrow-filled that in the end you'll be judging yourself and the things you do to your fellow human being. It is a genius script and incredible look into the human psyche. Terrifyingly beautiful, it is the best of British cinema.

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Box Office News

It's the circle of life, just as the sun falls and rises one movies time must end. If you know that quote then you have guessed it. The re-release of Lion King in 3D has roared its way to the number one spot of the US Box Office. Yes, even though it was released in 1994 Walt Disney have trumped all records for the biggest return ever. It has racked up $30.2 million and that's at least a few weeks before it is released in UK cinemas. It has even racked up more than the Toy Story 1 & 2 re-release! Amazing stuff from a 17 year old film! (Yes you heard me, 17 years. How old do you feel now?)

In first place position in the UK, the incredible Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy has knocked of The Inbetweeners Movie off the top spot (finally) racking in a wonderful £2.8 million whilst The Change Up came in fifth and I Don't Know How She Does It came in seventh. Finally, a great British (and Swedish) intelligent movie has knocked off a film about sex and saddo's in the sun. It's a very proud day to be British. Have a cup of tea with your fingers raised old chap!!!! 

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Film News Round Up: 12 - 19 September

Waahhheyyy everyone and welcome to the beginning of the week. This is where I go through the best and worst week before, are you keeping up? Anyway, I have been shifting through the mundane to give you the incredibly awesome high five the person next to you news and then the horrendously horrible wail and scream through the street news that trust me, breaks my heart too. I'm there for you buddy.

Good News


You know what is good about the up and coming Muppets movie. Not just the fact that it is an up and coming brand spanking new Muppets movie because that is pretty much the best thing ever (EVER!) If there is one thing Disney is definitely getting right it is the paraody trailers that have been hitting our screens. There was The Hang-Over 2 trailer that was better than the actual movie. There was the Green Lantern movie that was infinite times better than the actual movie and then there is the new one based on the trailer for the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This new parody is hilarious! I don't have to tell you that this movie is going to be incredible. I'm giggling like a child in my room as we speak. (That isn't so strange but the trailer is awesome.)

In a recent interview with Empire Magazine, Jason Bateman let slip that there could be a possibility for an amazing if not already the best movie ever Arrested Development movie. Athough storylines and directors and actual confirmation can't be, well, confirmed Bateman mentioned that filming could take place as soon as next year and there will be a whole hoard of celebrity cameos. If there's one thing internet film nerds love more than Arrested Development, its funny celebrity cameos. Ace, I think I just wet myself out of excitement, (again not that uncommon.) Check out the full interview here. 

And whats more nerdier than all this combined. What boldly goes into nerdom that no man has ever gone before. That's right, Jim; Star Trek. JJ Abrams has finally (fist grab) been confirmed to direct the sequel the the highly amazing first movie. With Alex Kurtzman and  Roberto Orci (my favourite last name ever,) on the helm of screen writing duties, Abrams is fully confident that the work they have come up with already to sign on after delaying since Super 8 hit our screens. Whatever way, it is going to be highly anticipated and if he manages to whack it out next year it looks like 2012 will be the rise of the nerd.

Bad News


If I were any film making company or director, picking out what material to use wouldn't be difficult. There is a whole abundance of screenplays out there that haven't yet been picked up for time on the silver screen. For instance, my unicorn bromance comedy "Feeling Horny" has persistently been turned down but trust me, its an Oscar worthy piece of work. So how does one make the choice to go from a unique screenplay to a Postman Pat movie? Yes, you heard me. A Postman Pat movie. To coincide with his 30th anniversary in 2013, PP stars voice talents of Rupert Grint and David Tennant and sees lovable mailman Pat enter a talent competition and be tempted by the fame. Oh christ, whats next? A Teletubbies movie? One where there mound is threatened bu human invasion and the Teletubbies are going to be subjected to alien experiments if they don't
fight for it. Actually, I may have something....best get writing.

If movies based around classic children's television doesn't get you banging your head repeatedly against the wall then completely bastardizing classic text will. There are thousands of adaptations about Oliver Twist from the fabulous musical to the equally great dramatic version. It's been and done and its safe to say that Oliver Twist is cinema gold but it's been done. That's why Micheal Roberts has written a brand new version which sounds so terrible that it rivals Twilight and its crappiness. It's called Olivia Twisted and its a 19 year old orphan girl who rounds up street urchins to steal but finds herself in a turf war between a rival gang. Yes, read that sentence again without your nose bleeding out of frustration. And poor Ashley Greene, she has signed up for it already. She did so well in Scott Pilgram, don't go back to the dark side of cinema.

Finally, we come to a subject close to my heart as it dabbles with my favourite film, The Silence Of The Lambs and my favourite villain Hannibal Lecter. A television series based on the relationship between Lecter and FBI agent Will Graham before Red Dragon. Now, it took months of therapy to forget about Hannibal Rising but people seem insistent on giving us more background to the originally enigmatic serial killer. The project is headed by Pushing Daisies producer Bryan Fuller and therefore that is the name that I shake my angry fists of rage at.

Oh they are angry all right.

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Review: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

When everyone thinks about spies their are two things that come to mine; the suave sexy ladies man with all the gadgets James Bond and then Austin Powers. And then we go further into the Bourne Identity etc etc. But no matter which way you look at it spies are the greatest bad-asses around. But really? Is that really life? Do spies skid across the bonnets of cars and right into a girls vagina's? Well no, not really and that's why you don't hear on a train "I'm sorry for the delay there is a shoot out on the tracks," no, it is always leaves. And Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy strips away the glamour and the explosions and set espionage in the drabbest place ever; 1970's Britain.

Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy is a film based on John Le Carre' (don't let the name fool you, it's a pen name, he is British,) best-selling novel of the same name. It centres around George Smiley as he is called back from forced retirement to hunt down a mole within the MI6. As this is set in the 1970's, the MI6 and their American counterparts are in a Cold War with the Soviets that is escalating day by day. And that pressure is worsened by someone betraying them. Whats worse, it is someone right at the top of "the circus." The paranoia, the suspicion and the violence is escalating; its a race against time for Smiley to hunt down the mole, even if it means uncovering someone close.

As I have said (numerous times) before, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy has the greatest cast ever assembled and each do a sterling job. From veteran actors Gary Oldham and John Hurt to rising stars Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch, there are some fantastic performances and none over shadow each other given enough space for them all to shine. Of course, the highlight is Gary Oldham and without saying much he manages to draw you in to the world of George Smiley using slight facial expressions. Smiley is quiet, reserved but has the power of all investigation under the finger tips. Oldham conveys it all simply but compelling. And its not just Oldham; Mark Strong is superb as Prideaux and Hardy is certainly one of this years greatest stars, shining on with emotive yet dark story to tell as Ricki Tarr. Each performance bounces off each other in a cleverly well written script that doesn't give any clues to who the mole is. It's a wonderful piece well written by Peter Straughan and the late Bridgett O'Connor; it has great conversation pieces the unfolds the plot beautifully within the words.

The film, I have to admit, isn't entirely British. It is directed by Let The Right One In direcot Tom Alfredson (who is Swedish) and he does a cracking job. The cinematography is wonderful and each scene from the close ups to the rolling scenes are exquisite. He also captures the vibe of the 70's from the dank brown fashion to the culture; music and all. You will be much mistaken for thinking you had fallen asleep and woken in the past somewhere. Alfredson takes a great care to the subject and does the book proud; with concise precision and a conducting the film with near perfection.

Yet in this day and age, without the sex and violence we now commonly associate with spies, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy tends to drag and at two hours long it is certainly a haul to get through. There is a lot of information to in take and despite the brilliance of it all, it isn't one for those looking for a quick cinema fix. Also, the flipping between flashbacks and the present day, all though vital, can be unclear and extremely confusing. You'll have to keep your guard up at all times in case you miss a key element to this film.

Otherwise it certainly is a triumph of media. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, of course, has been done before most notably the TV series with Alec Guinness as the Smiley role. But this adaptation recognises that and gives more to the table. The ever versatile Oldham does his grandest performance yet and it will undoubtedly be recognised in up and coming award ceremonies. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is Britain at it's finest (with a little Scandinavian to boot) and does the book justice. A truly amazing film.

4/5

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Films To Go See This Week

So its another week and a new batch of movies have come winging its way to for our delight! There are several very good comedies and then one cracking film. I may as well just tell you to go watch Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy because it is going to blow everything out of the water. But, I have a job to do.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. 


It's the British film of the year so grab your patriotism and high tail your self down to watch this phenomenon that is one step away from going down the pub with a pie singing "Vindaloo" at a horrendous football team. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is based around the height of the Cold War. Espionage veteran George Smiley is called in from semi-retirement to find a Soviet Agent in the MI6. With several likely candidates, it is a race against time to sniff out the mole before the whole agency falls apart.

Its a brilliant thriller with the best cast ever assembled. Go watch it. Go watch it now.

The Change Up 


Following the same routine as previous films such as Freaky Friday and The Hot Chick (because they were obviously at the higher end of cinema,) The Change Up surrounds single ladies man Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) and married family man Dave (Jason Bateman.) After a night out and peeing in a fountain (because magic works that way) they inevitably switch lives and find themselves trying to navigate without ruining everything. But could everything they wished for, be everything they never wanted?

Want to guess the ending? Sure, its the same as such films like Freaky Friday and The Hot Chick. It's going to be average but I'm pretty sure Ryan Reynolds will pull in enough.

30 Minutes Or Less. 


If you look up the case of Brian Douglas Wells  you wouldn't be wrong in mistaking this film to be a "based on true story" film, which the writers deny. With that in mind, 30 Minutes Or Less is a comedy about a pizza delivery boy who gets coerced into robbing a bank by having a bomb strapped to him. He has only a few seconds to get the money before the actual bad guys explode the device. It's a race against time as he has collars in his best friend to help.

Starring Jessie Einsberg , Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari, the film is a fast paced comedy that is set to have you chortling. If you didnt' know the true story...

Other films out this week are horse based comedy I Don't Know How She Does It about a woman who juggles everything and horror Episode 50 about a Most Haunted esque show final episode never being aired.

Have fun whatever you see and whomever you see it with.

Even if, like me, its on your own.

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Best TV Theme Songs: Adult Shows.

So here it is, a week late but it is here; the finale of the best TV Theme Songs. This week its adult shows. This is the most difficult one as there is a fine line between adult and family ( also, I watch more children shows and sitcoms than adult shows.) I have selected some that some may think fall in the latter but I must correct you. If they have adult humor, sexual references, violence and are incredible dark then no amount of colourful or musical numbers will save them from. So are you ready? It's the final countdown (dun nuh nuh nuh)

Glee 


(Theme song: A song that is identified with a performer, group, or radio or television program. So no, I know there isn't one much at the beginning but we all know it..) 

Ah Glee. The phenomenon. The hit. The guilty pleasure. I'm not going to lie, the third season has my toes curled in excitement but I appreciate that the show has many flaws (so many flaws.) Don't get me wrong though, Glee has lots of potential. I mean, including the random musical numbers, season one started with pedophilia  homophobia, amputation, drugs, teen pregnancy, fake pregnancy, sex and bullying and all with a dark sense of humour about it all. So Glee, hitting the right notes took all that and threw it away on the same old "who is with who" and "who is gay?" storylines but with musical numbers and now chirpiness. Goddammit. The Glee Theme song is a brilliant acapella beat that is familiar with show choirs and has a brilliant over the top but controlled feel for it. It's certainly different.

True Blood 


True Blood is based on a series of vampire books that works around this premise. Vampires and human co-exist and thanks to a new synthetic blood that allows vampires to not go around on murderous rampages (I can tell you all know how that goes.) Not all are monsters and vampire Bill Compton and psychic waitress Sookie. As far as Twilight goes, True Blood brings a bit of both to the ghoulish genre; a little bit of sensitivity and sexiness and then blood and gore. The theme song is by Jace Everett and has  the slow south country town blues to capture to air of the series.

Weeds 

I'll have to be honest, I've never really watched Weeds but this show theme song comes straight to me from Dannii Martin and listening to it (and the other versions) its pretty ace. Weeds is about Widowed mother of two Nancy. After her husband dies of a heartache, Nancy decides to start illegally selling marijuana to support her children. As the show continues, a lot more illegal activities start coming their way. Weeds is a comedy, a dark one at that, but the theme song is a quaint song that sets an almost ironic tone with "Little Boxes." The original is done by Malvina Reynolds but as the show progresses various artists soon take the role including everyone's favourite singer, Billy Bob Thornton.

Mock The Week 


Mock The Week is everyone's favourite quiz show. That is if you live in England. If not, Mock The Week is pretty much like Whose Line Is It Anyway? but it is centered around stand up comedy and the subject is news stories of the week. As they satire topical headlines, they divulged in off the cuff jokes and always, always stuff in a bit of their stand up routine in the most ham handed segue's ever. Still, it is funny and hasn't lost the ball since borderline psychotic Frankie Boyle left the show. The theme song is by The Jam and is called "News Of The World" which is a punk song satire about newspapers and stories. Huh. Apt.

X Files


X Files actually terrified me as a child. I remember going around to peoples houses and being forced to watch it, then crying or screaming in terror. Or never sleeping again. Again. To this days I still remember some of the episodes as Mulder and Scully battle through the FBI solving cases far beyond the realms of this normal world. From Aliens to ghosts to de ja vu (my favourite episode by the way,) X Files dealt with any conspiracy throbbing away on crazy people's tongue. Now, through the whole of this paragraph you instantly had that eerie extra terrestrial whistling in your head. Yep, the theme song that still keeps me up at night. Sweet dreams guys!

Sex And The City


When the Sex and The City movie first came out (that is the first one) the cinema's were packed full of women of all ages. In fact, smoking was banned within a 5 mile radius of any cinema on premiere day due to the amount of toxins from make up harbored in those buildings. As the anticipation rose, when the theme song trilled out of the speakers, a cry of woops and squeals were sounded all over. That is the power of Sex and the City. The television show that made it alright for women to openly talk about sex and men. The show that yet women be in control............of meeting a man. And the theme song is just as cheeky and sassy. You go, girl *finger click*

The Simpsons 


Ah, here we go, the entry that is going to make all of you cry at your computer screens; "What are you talking about, Sarah? The Simpsons is a childrens show. At least a family one." To that, I say wrong. Ok, so children love the yellow stained citizens of Springfield and their wacky hijinks. In fact, there is simple humor and slapstick to entertain people of all ages. But as you watch  them over again (and over and over) you will son realize that there are more than just a few naughty jokes and dark humour slip in as repeatedly The Simpsons gleefully dance over into the adult territory. I'm not going to explain the theme, it's one of the most famous ones there is from the choir singing the name to Danny Elfman's score. Brilliant.

Family Guy/American Dad!

I've popped these two together because they are the same show. Of course, there are slight differences; the premise is tweaked ever so slightly and one has strained culture references whilst the other is better but no one realizes it (I'll let you fight over that.) Seth McFarlane hit on a right thing and repeated it over and over again. Even the theme songs are similar with a piano beat, the main character singing the song and memorable lyrics that everyone everyone knows. Shall I say much more? No, I'll let the theme songs do the talking.

South Park.


Ah, now the better of the above cartoons. South Park is crude, crass and bloody genius. Of course, South Park has touched on some horrendous subject and has been constantly embroiled in scandal, threats and more. What South Park is though is pure satire on a plate. It is taking the world as we know it and all of are insecurities, brain fails and plays them out as one big joke that people take seriously. South Park creators seem as they are two of those guys who just, seem to get life. The theme song feels inbred and jolly all at the same time. It's a wonderful and toe tapping hoe down.

All The CSI's


The CSI series from the best (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation) to the worst (CSI: Miami) is a show that has us all wondering how. It focuses on the seemingly magical scientists who solve all murders ever (in their district) and then show us how they did it. Just like a magician pulling the rabbit out of the hate, its all a crock of lies. For one, real crime scene investigators aren't nearly as sexy and no, not all murders can be solved by one single hair found. But then again CSI is our fantasy and we all like to believe that eventually people will be tracked down and found. Unfortunately, its less impressive than CSI. Still, its all entertainment.  They also get the monopoly on theme songs as each of them has there own The Who song. I mean, thats just awesome. And some lovely person has shoved them all in one you tube video. Beautiful.

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That's the last of the TV theme show articles! I hope you enjoyed it. For my next article (list) I will be looking at the best villains and why exactly they are terrifying. Any ideas, email me. Ta. 

Box Office News

The worst has happened! The end is nigh! AN EMMA STONE FILM HAS BEEN TOPPLED FROM THE TOP SPOT!!!!

(This is how I totally look writing this blog. Totally)

Ok, so it's not the end of the world, it had to happen sometime (but don't worry, there is more to come with Crazy Stupid Love and The Amazing Spider-Man, she will rise again.) This week Contagion topped the box office raking in $23.1million knocking The Help to number two and letting the Warrior slide in at number three. Starring Matt Damon and Kate Winslet, Contagion is everyone's fear; a disease is rapidly wiping out the human race.

The Inbetweeners Movie racked up a fourth week at top spot in UK Box Office fending off competition from Friends With Benefits which came in at two gaining £1.6 million in its opening weekend.. Jane Eyre came in third and Colombiana at seven.

Someones going to be smug.

What, disappointingly, wasn't in the top ten was A Lonely Place To Die, which you should you watch. Now. Read the review here. 

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Review: A Lonely Place To Die

When people think of Scotland many imagine rolling highlands capped under constant rain. Or perhaps haggis, the weird meal that has to be tried once. Or kilts that don't hide much when a gust of wind decides to reveal all. Or whiskey, festivals and all round friendly folk. There is a beauty capture in Scotland that stick a horror movie slap bang in the isolation is near perfection. Think Wicker Man (that's the original people, if one of you utters Nicolas Cage I am going to hit you with a haggis,)and you get the perfect image of how creepy Scotland and its Isles can be. So A Lonely Place To Die (a fitting name) has to hit the nail on the head in this British thriller.

A Lonely Place To Die is set around five mountain climbing buddies as they walk the intrepid land of the Scottish Highland. During their travels they stumble upon a dark secret; someone has hidden a girl who speaks no English in a trap under the ground. Refusing to leave her, the five take her so they can alert the authorities. Unfortunately, those who put her there aren't to happy and soon a chase ensues as the doomed five are now racing to save the girl and their own laughs. Without anyone to trust and the terrain just as terrifying, it seems that death is inevitable instead of escapable.

The first point of A Lonely Place To Die is the breathtaking scenery from the scarily tall mountains covered in snow and ice to the green that stretches for miles far from civilization. The close ups to the panning really capture the abundance within the wilderness. A highlight in cinematography is one bloody scene that is done with  shocking beauty that you are left in awe at how it is played out in front of you. What is also remarkable is how frightening the film is. Most scenes keep your heart pounding as the race against time ignites. The director Julian Gilbey takes the premise for a thriller and builds it layer upon layer. The tension rises into your throat as not only are there psychotic killers on tail but there is just enough danger from one fall in the countryside. This is where the writing and acting smoothly takes control and relatively new movie actors such as Melissa George and Ed Speleers (Alison and Ed) portray adrenaline filled fear and convey distress as well as the will to live perfectly. The girl, Anna, is superbly played by the young Holly Boyd. And there is the complete and utter menacing villains Mr Kidd and Mr Mccrae (Steve Harris and Mr Kidd) who still moments after the film has ended give chills down the back of your neck.

There are some moments that falter within the film though and it is not without perfection. Out of nowhere, the film turns weird at places and start throwing in bounty hunters as though the plot isn't juicy enough. Also given that this is a stand out film, it is sad that they have to resort to creepy festival scenes similar to Wicker Man to heighten the fear. And despite the amazing shots, the random point of view with shakiness is distracting and unnecessary.

But it is all bridge under the water, A Lonely Place To Die is outstanding. It gives and gives and then pulls you into an unexpected direction as well as giving you false leads. At the end you will leave the cinemas with your heart still beating so fast you feel as you just ran the course are protagonists did. What A Lonely Place To Die does is take films such as Wrong Turn and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and make it British and better. It is certainly a thriller to be proud of.

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In Memory

Unfortunately the movie and television world was hit by two deaths this week. Firstly Oscar winning actor, Cliff Robertson died at 88 in Long Island, New York. His famous roles including playing Uncle Ben in the Spider-man Triology and his Academy Award Winning Charly in the 1968. He also started in films such as The Naked And Dead and Squadron. He will be a sorely missed actor.

And today, Spartacus: Blood And Sand star Andy Whitfield died of an 18 month battle with Non Hodgen's Lymphoma. His wife called him a "beautiful warrior" who died on sunday morning in the arms of his wife. His notable role was acclaimed for his title role within the television series that was violent but a great hit. He was replaced after his diagnosis. A rising star cut down at 36.

Film News Round Up: 5 - 12 September

Hey gang, well it's a swell day and it would be neat to see what is shaking in the world of movies! Ok, I'll stop talking like I belong in a 50's movie. Or a cheap rip off of a 50's movie and I'll show you exactly what has been getting tongues a wagging this past week that you may have missed. Or you didn't and you just loved my flippant writing skills!

Great Scott!!

Good News  


You know whats just around the corner. You can practically smell it. Turkey, stuffing and chestnuts roasting on a n open fire (and some of you have instantly hated me for getting that song in your head.) Yay! Christmas time is coming and if you are like me, you are passionately and woefully saying your goodbyes to that hard earned cash. Fear not friends because are favourite potheads Harold and Kumar are back with a stonking new 3D film. This week our prayers were answerd as the posters for the obviously-going-to-be-hilarious film are surfing around and they look ace. Now, I won't show them all so here's a couple:

Okay, I have to show you Neil Patrick Harris.

Oh go on then, I'll show you them all. 

Gah, it's like Christmas has come early. Amazing.

Jay Baruchel is my favourite skinny actor. Normally, I like the hunky silent type (Chris Evans,) the girl (Emma Stone) or the geeky chubster (Seth Rogen.) Baruchel brings a charm like quality to his roles which include The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Knocked Up that can be irresistible;

spindly

So it is interesting that this funny man is taking the helms of writer for the Italian sports comedy Baseballissimo (such a witty play on words all ready, good show.) The film is about David Bidini's true story as he travelled to the town of Nettuno, Italians Baseball capitol. Whether it is going to be drama or comedy, I do not know but more Baruchel the better. Which includes films such as Goon and Jay and Seth vs The Apocalypse (Seth and Jay together again...please let Emma Stone star..) 

There is a new call for a superhero movie after Ron Howard is no longer working on The Dark Tower. This time it is a superhero with a twist; he only has powers for one day of the year. It's called 364 and it is from the writer of Panic Room and Safe House David Guggenheim. We all know Howard is a pretty busy guy what with trying to marry Lori whilst having pesky ladies man Fonzie around. No, wait, that's Happy Days again.

Did I fall asleep in a Deloren again?

Finally, on the good news, I have decided that a movie version of Les Miserable couldn't be so bad. I'm not even bothered that they have Russell Crowe lined up to play Jalvert (the git who pursues Valjean for years.) I think if done well, it could be extremely well received and may even be highly acclaimed. That being said, Phantom didn't do to greatly did it. Ok, it's a sketchy  good news but it's not terrible! Well, at least we are still waiting to see if Anne Hathaway will get those chops around I Dreamed A Dream and there is a possibility of Helena Boham Carter staring in it. Win!

Bad News


Just as one set of posters for a super amazing movie appears on the scene the inevitable happens: Twilight brings out new ones for Breaking Dawn. To save you the trouble and don't ask me how I know, Breaking Dawn is about the marriage and subsequent baby drama surrounding Bella and Edward. Edward, if you didn't know (ignorance is bliss after all) just happens to be a psycho....I mean stalker....no wait... "vampire" so there are some major complications. Throw in topless werewolves and you've got a recipe for tweens to go mental. And for those who can actually read or write? Lets just throw in the towel and get mindnumbingly drunk (fifth vodka already!) If you haven't guessed it, the new posters are just as gushing and dramatic as you'd expect. With lots of photo shop.

There's a Jacob one as well. You can find it here. Don't bother me for it.

It's official, Eddie Murphy has been confirmed to host the 84th Annual Oscars much to the cries of people with taste all over. Don't get me wrong, I have loved Murphy but that was when I was a child and I was, to put it nicely, stupid. It was back anything with a funny voice, slapstick humor and a fat suit could make me chuckle. But I'm older and I demand sophisticated humor dammit. Now if we go way back and find original Murphy, we may have a a good host.

I need that Deloren again.


TTFN

Cookie.

Review: Friends With Benefits.

Romantic Comedies have numerous fatal flaws that make them hard to like. For example, they are completely predictable. Let's face it, when we walk into a rom-com, we walk in expecting our protagonists end up together. But not before we have faced numerous amount of funny situations, talks about sex and feelings, some slap-sick that would hospitalize normal non film folk and the huge ending where they find out they really love each other as though the incredibly beautiful people haven't spent the last 2 hours in a romantic comedy. The mind boggles. Friends With Benefits attempts to inject a fresh take on the genre as our heroes attempt to "remove the cliche of romantic comedies" but if there is one thing people can predict more than romance in films is how "friends with benefits" always works out.

Friends With Benefits does exactly what it says on the tin and stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. They play Dylan and Jamie who becomes friends after Jamie head hunts Dylan for GQ magazine, convincing him to move to New York as their art director. Soon after several months (I assume) of bonding, Dylan and Jamie become disillusioned with "romance" and how cliched Hollywood makes relationships. In an urge for a physical connection, they embark on a friends with benefits policy; sex with no complications. But as soon as they start enjoying their new arrangement, those pesky complications start appearing. Will their friendship ever survive? Can sex be enjoyed between two friends without it becoming more? What do you think?

If there is one thing to be said about Friends With Benefits is that Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis have a great chemistry on screen. As they flip jokes and insults at one another there is a fantastic rapport that flows from one another. Not only do you believe that they could be friends but their blossoming relationship is instantly realistic. As Dylan and Jamie, Timberlake and Kunis are extremely comfortable in their positions and that breezes across the screen in a crisp likability. Also, there a plenty of jokes here that feed the comedy aspect of the movie and have you giggling away as a whole host of supporting characters from gay Tommy (Woody Harrelson ) to his sister Annie (Jenna Elfman) flesh out the betrothed characters in anecdotes that have warmth and depth.

But, although there is plenty of laughs, the movie comes across as bland and boring. There is nothing so outrageously new here that you can enjoy without rolling your eyes and predicting the next scene to the next. You instantly know the point where one falls for the other or the moment they fall out because this has all be done before. The formula has not been switched about enough for the repetitiveness not to sink in and it becomes tedious to watch yet another attractive couple fall in love with each other all over again. It has only been done a million times. With the recent release of No Strings Attached boasting the same premise, Friends With Benefits suffers greatly. What is hilarious though is the beginning sequences where Jamie gets angry about Katherine Heigel movies as though her own film isn't inevitable to end the same way.

Friends With Benefits isn't all bad. Despite its lack of originality, there is heart and you can't stop yourself falling in love with our leading stars. It delivers precisely what it says it will deliver and that is a feel good romantic comedy that will whisk you down the route you are so familiar with. There is no though process going into this movie so enjoy it for what it is; a simple romance.

2/5 stars.

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